The Years You "Lost"

I want to share something with you today that doesn’t always get talked about out loud… the hidden side of healing.

When you’ve walked through trauma, when you’ve carried pain for so long, it can blur the lines of who you are. The world tells you to “move on” or “be strong,” but the truth is that it’s messy, it’s painful, and it’s real.

If you’ve ever found yourself angry, grieving lost years, or wondering if the broken pieces will ever fit together again, this is for you:

People don’t often talk about the pain and anger that comes with healing from trauma.

When trauma has been part of your life for so long, it starts to feel like it is you.

The lines blur so you don’t know where you end and where the pain begins.

So you fall into survival mode. You people-please. You put out fires.

You let life push you around because your foundation feels burned to the ground.

Deep down you hope that if you can just keep everyone else happy, maybe the hurting will finally stop.

But that’s not the antidote for the hurt.

It’s just coping. And it’s not a good way to cope.

Then one day you start to heal.

You let go of the abusive relationships.

You begin to taste freedom.

But with that freedom comes another realization: the years you “lost.”

All the years you spent hiding, coping, running.

You see the stress that cut you short.

The appointments you never made.

The healthy habits you couldn’t keep.

The opportunities you ran from.

The relationships you broke because you were too broken to handle them.

Too broken even to feel joy.

That realization can crush your self-esteem. It can leave you angry.

Angry at the people who hurt you.

Angry over the time you’ll never get back.

Angry at yourself for feeling so trapped.

But here’s the truth: realizing how broken you are without Jesus is actually a blessing.

That realization is humility.

That awareness drives you closer to Him.

It breeds faithfulness.

These are good fruits.

This is how God redeems trauma.

This is how He trains you for greater things.

So if you’re feeling low and empty today, it doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It means you’re finally seeing your need for a Savior.

You’re recognizing that in your own strength, you can’t do it but with Him, you can.

And that realization itself is a gift.

Not being full of yourself is a gift.

Seeing your own weakness is a gift.

Because in your weakness, His strength is made perfect.

Praise God.

Recognizing your need for a Savior is not the end of your story.

It’s the beginning of His victory in your life.

If this speaks to you today, know you’re not alone.

God has not wasted your pain, and He has not wasted your years.

He is redeeming them even now.

Lean into Him, let Him carry you, and watch how He turns brokenness into beauty.

If this resonates with you, I want you to know...

You’re not walking through this journey alone.

The Lord sees you, He has never abandoned you, and He is redeeming every part of your story even the parts that feel the most broken. 

The brokenness is not the end. It’s the soil where God’s victory takes root.

I’m standing with you, praying for you, and knowing that the same Jesus who carried me will carry you, too.

If this message resonated with you, I want you to know there are next steps you can take.

In my book, Kintsugi Heart, I share how God can turn broken pieces into a masterpiece of redemption. It’s for women who feel like too much time has been lost—but who are ready to see how He restores and rebuilds. You can find it here.

And if you feel God nudging you to go deeper, I invite you to apply for a Clarity Call with me. This is a one-on-one session where we’ll pray, talk through your goals, and map out how you can step into the freedom and purpose He’s calling you to. Apply here.